July 13, 2010
Help Save Marriage – An Exercise In Love
Marriage Saving is a Work Plan.
Both you and your spouse must be ready to work hard to repair the pieces of your injured relationship. Understand that it will take both time & effort. You don’t want your relationship in a deeper mess that it presently is. That’s the last thing you want.. If need be, you may have to swallow your pride and take the initial step, even if you strongly believe that you aren’t the one who is in the wrong. Sacrifices must be made to reach your marriage saving goals. No one said that saving marriage would be easy.
Help Save Marriage Means “Stop the Complaints”.
Complaining can be just about the same as nagging. You may perhaps not realize this, but repetitively complaining to your spouse is also suggesting that they’re doing something bad. You cannot force someone to change. Realize that all real change starts from within. If there are things about your partner that you want to change, they should understand this for themselves.
You can alienate your partner more by trying to compel him into changing when that’s the last thing in his mind or pressuring him to believe in something that he doesn’t believe in. The continuous badgering will make your partner feel as though you don’t appreciate them for the unique person they are.
You can encourage change in your spouse simply by saying positive words whenever you notice efforts being made. You understand that change doesn’t come overnight, yet, you’re pleased by their action. Optimistic reinforcement is much more powerful than verbal criticism.
If you are the one who is always getting the disapproval and complaints, try to go a different way than you normally do. You shouldn’t get defensive and then instantly begin protesting. Instead, make an effort to listen to your partner as well as comprehend the reasons of their nagging.
You should try and hear what your spouse is trying to tell you. You want them to know you are making a sincere and honest effort to see it from their side for a change. Marriage saving is not an easy task, especially if you feel you are the one in the right but you must prove to your spouse that you are going to do whatever is necessary to save your marriage.
You may be surprised what wonderful things come from learning to communicate with your partner. Even if you don’t end up seeing “eye-to-eye”, your partner is going to appreciate your honest efforts in trying to understand their wants and needs.
Be patient and support each other. Understand that marriage repair can only happen in the fullness of time. You’ll be disturbed some days and other days will be easier…take it one day at a time. Don’t mind the insignificant matters and stay away from arguments. Keep the bigger picture, the outcome, always in your mind and heart. Words can be paper thin so show your intent through your actions.
You can learn more on how to manage your marriage crisis: Amy Waterman Save My Marriage Today or Marriage Self Help Books
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